Health Care

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Sanders, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Dr. Jones at St. Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test a gain?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.

"Normally we could, but the new health care system will only pay for these expensive tests just one time."

''Well, what am I supposed to do now? "

"The folks at Obama Care recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."

Pizza Deal

We went to a supper crowded Pizza Hut yesterday right after the football game and ordered a 12 inch pizza, a moment later, a waiter said the 12 inch are all sold out and we have to wait for half an hour, but he offered us for a 9-inch plus a 6-inch to swap.

I quickly said yes and felt lucky that 9 + 6 = 15, and 15 is larger than 12!. But the wife would not agree - life or death, and she shouted loud in protest. She asked the waiter to swap for a 9-inch, plus TWO 6-inches. I felt embarrassed and told her in a low voice not to get greedy. Then, She call the waiter over asking for a pen and paper.

On the counter, she ran some serious calculations for me and the waiter:

Area of a 12-inch pizza = pi x R ^ squared = 3.14 x (12/2) ^2 = 113 sq in.

Area of one 9 inch pizza and one 6 inch pizza = 3.14 x [ (9/2) ^2 + (6/2) ^2 ] = 92 sq in.

We were at a loss of 21 sq in.

I almost fainted ……

Conversation before wedding

He: Finally it is the day. I cannot wait any more.
She: Can I leave?
He: No. Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course.
She: Are you going to betray me?
He: How could you have such a strange thought.
She: Will you kiss me?
He: I will.
She: Are you going to hurt me?
He: Absolutely. no
She: Can I trust you?

(read bottom up after wedding)

How much pure love do you have for yourself?

Men are always beautifying other’s wife imaging to torture themselves.
Women are consistently fighting for aging to cheat themselves.
Youths are pretending at all time some rebellions to punish themselves.

Another View of Nobel Prize

Nobel invented the famous TNT which already destroyed at least the half number of humanity; But he left behind the Nobel Prize that is more harmful than the TNT, it is nearly inspiring people to destroy the whole Universe!

Men are Coward

Fiancé: “I have no courage to tell your father I am simply stony broke."

Fiancée: “You men are all cowards. My father would not tell you he had just bankrupted.”

Progressed

Grandfather is chatting with granddaughter. Granddaughter asks, “Grandpa, are you created by the God?” “Yes, Thanks the God.” The granddaughter asks again, “Am I created by the God?” “Yes, my dear.” Granddaughter looks at grandfather for a few minutes, and then walks to the mirror. Finally she tells grandfather her new secret finding, “you know, the God’s job has been improved greatly recently."